The Raging Battle

I noticed that over the past couple of weeks, my posting has been sporadic. I try to be honest on this little blog of mine and share what's going on in my life and how God's speaking to me. But sometimes my little inner struggles seem so petty, I don't want to bore people with them.

I took on a new ministry position at church: Children's Ministry Director. I did purely out of obedience to God. I'm glad I've followed His leading and I'm excited to see what will follow, but it's required more time and planning and prayer than I had imagined. As I've stepped into the role, I've grown in my passion for the kids of our church and community.

So, I've been busy strategizing for Children's Ministry and planning Vacation Bible School.

In addition to that, I've been praying for a teaching job in the fall. Hiring for schools usually begins in the spring, so I've spent plenty of time getting my licensure all in order, creating a great resume, and sending off applications and cover letters to a few jobs in the area. I know it's still too early to know for sure what will happen in the fall, but it seems like I won't have a full time job.

The whole work issue has been not only demanding of my time, but also emotionally draining. I want to work. I'm ready to be back in the classroom and to be doing what I love. But I also want to honor God and obey His leading. My family still needs to be a top priority. Since God knows me better than I know myself, I've asked Him to send me the right job. One that will utelize my gifts and talents and still allow me to be devoted to my family. So, even though I'm disappointed about some jobs that haven't worked out, I'm trusting in God's leading.

To add one more item to my agenda, I'm going to a writer's conference in less than a week. I'm excited to go and learn and meet people but I'm also really nervous. I'm not sure why, but I'm feeling totally insecure about it all. I think I'm going to be surrounded by a bunch of great writers which completely intimidates me. Besides, I would kind of like to have some great articles to bring with me and I haven't quite figured that part out yet.

In addition to my silly little stressors, disappointments and anxieties, I have been helping my husband prepare for a seminar on purity this weekend.

So, yesterday I was feeling a little overwhelmed and disconnected from God. I spent a little time visiting some bloggy friends and WHAMO! out of the blue, God spoke to me.

I read this post by a true prayer warrior, Lynn. And as I was reading it, God opened my eyes to see the arrows whizzing over my head.

It's no wonder I've been struggling this week. My family is on the front lines of a battle field. How could I have forgotten that?