Women of Influence Part II

What and who has influenced me as a woman to be a strong leader and to be where I am today (Part I here)?

When I was a young woman, I remember being a bit affronted with the image of the Proverbs 31 wife - the Bible's example of the perfect woman, the almost impossible unattainable goal.  The trouble was, I saw her as someone who was just a little TOO perfect, too industrious (can anyone say "workaholic") and definitely too much like the 1950's conservative image of a homemaker.  I had a terrific example of motherhood in my own mom who cooked healthy meals for us, loved to be silly and celebrate with panache, made my dresses and gave me a wonderful childhood free of worries.  However, as a new mom, I felt very strongly about being labeled as "just a mom" - I didn't want motherhood to be what defined me.  I wanted to make my mark on the world and do Big things for God and I just didn't think that searching out the right food for mealtime or keeping an immaculate house was how I wanted to be remembered.  

When I read Proverbs 31 some more, I began to realize that this lady from a whole different time and lifestyle was more like me than I had originally understood.  First, she was determined to be a wife who brought blessings upon her husband which is really just being intentional about loving her husband.  Second, she was a working woman - she worked hard to increase the income of her household and she was the supervisor (boss) over her household servants.  She oversaw their work and their compensation in addition to reaching out and helping the poor of her community.  She was the kind of CEO who genuinely cared about her employees and made sure they were well taken care of.  When someone believes that to be a good wife and mother a woman needs to stay home, they are missing out on all the other capacities women have to share their blessings with others.  The wife in Proverbs 31 was described as a woman of strength, dignity and wisdom and she was a woman who feared the Lord and that's definitely who I want to be.  

When God asked me to step out of my comfort zone and take on leadership (as a high school principal), I remembered the example of the Prov. 31 wife and her approach to being a boss.  I also drew from another resource which gave me a vision for my leadership style.  It's encompassed in these four statements:

Lead Courageously

Reject Passivity

Accept Responsibility

Expect the Greater Good

I hope you find ironic that these statements are from a course of Biblical manhood (!) but these are the things that make me a as a woman into an influential leader.  We have to reject passivity as often as women have been passive to the wishes or directions of others (regardless of whether those people have that authority).  Being passive is a common pitfall but something that will never make a good leader.  Lead courageously - for me courage has been an issue throughout my leadership journey - becoming courageous through my High school days in debate and being pushed into leadership by my InterVarsity leader.  I have to be willing to take the plunge and do what is hard in order to be a good leader.

The women in my life who have influenced to be where I am today are worthy of my gratitude and I shared last week about a few who stood out in formative years but I want to also mention that I would never be who I am today without a few other women:  First, my mom, who gave her life to us as her children and went back for her masters when we were all grown (in her 50's!) and became a counselor (never say it's too late to start something new or learn new things).  Her mother, my grandma, is a woman who remembers the hardships of the Great Depression and has always been a strong willed woman who worked hard and still has deep convictions and a rebellious stubbornness to be independent (yes, I have some of that independent streak in me too).  Women like Barb and Margot who listened to me and my issues as a young adult and kindly steered me in the right direction, giving me permission to be human (I'm so thankful they didn't judge me or patronize me).

 For the last 13 years, the greatest influence has been my closest friend, who lives a life of service, using her creative talents to bless others and speak the truth of the gospel to our girls, to her patients and to her community.  Her attitude and behaviors have been contagious and that's why we decided that we are each other's mentors.  It's not one over the other, it's iron sharpening iron, and sharing what God is teaching us in order to continually refresh each other.  That's what I think mentoring is all about - openly sharing about our faith walk with one another.

Women who inspired me professionally to be a strong female leader like Debi Wolf (my cooperating teacher), Terry Kronzer (Administration Program Director at UWS) and especially Anne Hopper, one of my first principals.  Anne was the inspiration for me to pursue principalship because I saw in her leadership style someone who encouraged my strengths, minimized my weaknesses and gave me the opportunity to flourish as a new teacher.  Her belief in me transformed me - I became who she thought I was because she gave me nurturing and positive feedback that fed my growth as an educator.

I just stumbled upon a note from a former student who made it clear that I had been a person of influence in her life without even knowing it.  I wasn't doing anything flashy or big, wasn't being a public speaker and it wasn't through my best selling book; no, it was just me living a life of obedience to Christ and being faithful to Him.  I think being a woman of influence means being a star in the sky that shines brightly of what God can do in the life of someone who is fully committed to Him.  Being a woman of influence means having the courage to step out and try things and confidence that God's going to carry you.  It's about seeing everything He's made us to be, not something anyone else wants us to be.  It's about being completely committed to HIS purposes for us, not giving up, not giving in, not changing course, unless he whispers in our ear and then being a person who follows His lead. 

If you've influenced me - know that you've given me a vision to influence others and for that I thank you!!!