Monday, August 18, 2008

Six-Pointers, Jamborees and a Hodge Podge of Kiddie Cuteness

Just to set the record straight before we get started, this post is not about deer or music. Not in the way you're thinking, at least.

A Freshman in the Cafeteria
I've started my new job at Insight Schools as an online math instructor for high school students this week, so if my posts are few and far between you'll understand why. I'm trying to figure out how to use three separate programs and look like I've got it all together. It's a bit like the first day of high school as a freshman. I remember picking out the perfect outfit that made me look serious and grown-up like a high schooler, but also fun and easygoing.

I filled up my backpack with #2 pencils, my Trapper and plenty of paper for all those notes I'd be taking. I arrived at school and tried to get into my locker. 32-45-18. Um, no, was it 45-32-18? Are you supposed to turn left-right-left or right-left-right? Oh, heck, forget it, I don't need a locker anyway!

I rushed down the hallway towards my first class: Speech. The teacher bounced in full of energy and enthusiasm and the hour seemed to pass quickly. High school was going to be fun, I just knew it. And then I tried to figure out how to get to Physics. Left-right-left. Oh, wait a minute, that's how to open the locker and you know how well that went for me. All of the sudden, I found myself in the cafeteria but it was only second period and I couldn't figure out how to get to Physics.

My friend Tara assured me that getting around the school should be easy since it was in the shape of a square. It felt more like a circle to me - going round and round and round but not getting anywhere.

Yeah, that's kind of how I'm feeling right now. I'm pretty sure I'll get it all figured out eventually, but it seems like I keep ending up in the cafeteria way before lunch is served.

I Starving
Speaking of lunch, I must progress to the next story... I fed the kids bologna sandwiches and sent them to their rooms for nap (or at least for a rest/quiet time). I explicitly told them that I would not be available for the next hour. I would be in my room with the door shut because I was in "class" so DO NOT DISTURB. Don't knock. Don't bang. Don't bug me. Don't interrupt. They assured me that they understood these directions.

About 10 minutes into my session, I heard a knock on the door. Arg. A note was slipped under the door... "I STARVING" Ok, I find that hard to believe since I just fed you a very nice bologna sandwich with apple slices and carrots. So, I ignored the interruption.

5 minutes later, the next note comes sliding in. "I starving what i pozed to do?"

I'll give you a hint: Don't ask me!!! If you are old enough to write down that you are starving (which is bigger than exaggeration), then aren't you old enough to get a banana off the counter? Or follow instructions??? Apparently not.

Somehow they managed to stave off starvation for the next few minutes. Amazing.

The Six Pack
The "starving" girl has become quite athletic this summer, participating in softball, swimming and soccer. But, I think her muscles have toned up more from the hula hoop and monkey bars than from any organized sport. This weekend she was laying on the couch and she started to sit up. She had definable abdominal muscles...like a real six pack. On a seven year old. I told her that her muscles were awesome. "You have a six pack, honey."

She wasn't familiar with that term, so I had to explain it to her. I guess I understand since we don't buy pop in 6-packs anymore. Everything comes in 12 or 24 packs. Which doesn't work so good for the abs, but anyhow.

So, when her grandma came the next day she proudly exclaimed, "Look, I've got a six-pointer (as in a deer) in my stomach!"

The Jamboree
Rubber bands are nifty little toys. They can be used to propel objects across a room and wound your sisters or just irritate them. They can tie up unruly hair into beautiful piggy tails. Or, they can be used for entertainment. They cut off your circulation if you leave them on your wrist for days and then your hand turns purple. That's pretty interesting.

But they mostly make good music. Twang, twang, twang. We've got a rubber band band going on over here. But it's tough to hang onto both ends of the rubber band and twang it cuz then you're out of hands. Unless you use your feet.

Just wrap one end of the rubber band on one toe and the other end on the other toe and then you can twang away with your free hands. It makes a toe jam-boree. Really classy!

1 comment:

Tami Boesiger said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning, Heather! Funny stuff.

And congratulations on your new job. You'll get 'er, I'm sure.